I put this one under both the journal and rants, because it’s a little of both. My girlfriend and I recently broke off, or in her own terms, she wanted some “space”, so I gave her it, willingly, knowing that my space was just about to be taken from me.
There’s nothing worse than forcing a person into being with you. That is something that has always worried and plagued me, for as long as I’ve lived. It’s funny how you feel, after all of the goals that you set disappear, because your relationship ended. Surely, other people go through harsher hardships. Some relationships leave emotional scars, or babies to rise. I can’t say I’ve experienced the later so much, although I can understand, or at least relate to it a bit. But I can certainly relate to the first.
You can’t help but to compare yourself to the one who replaced you. People who’ve seen her, with him, tell me that they have no idea what she sees in him, compared to me. I know that some people will say anything they can, just to make the other feel happier, but I can’t admit that I don’t think about it myself. I don’t look at him as someone inferior, just someone fortunate to have seized the moment, but perhaps unfortunate when the future rises.
It’s funny that all of the things that we promised to each other: honesty, regardless of the consequences, friendship, even if we became separated; all seem to break as easily as the words came out of our mouths at that time. It’s funny how all the moments, the pictures, the love we shared, the love we made, the things we cherished, the people we were with, all disappear, and turn into nothingness, when compared to the pain of losing one another.
I hope that no one else ever comes to know this pain, no one else but her. What goes around, comes around. I have to believe that, or else I’ll lose my sanity. And right now, it’s the only thing I have left to lose. Everything else feels empty and meaningless.
Hello mate. I read your rant and decided to add some food for thought, regarding your final statements.
At the very end, you wrote that “Everything else feels empty and meaningless”. I can relate to how you are feeling. Losing the most important thing in your life makes you underappreciate everything else. However, that doesn’t mean those things cease to exist. I believe the most important step in being able to overcome a broken relationship, is learning how to find happiness in those “meaningless” things, and learning how to be thankful for still having them.
If you give it some thought, I’m sure you’ll realize that you still have many things left. At the very least, you have your health, and you have people to be with, people who want to help you overcome what has happened.
The sun will surely shine again. Until then, try to make the best out of your night.